Multi Level Madness

I responded to an advertisement on the 'gumtree' website. I am in need of a job to balance my stupid friggin' budget and the idea of a 'sales representative' sounded catchy. A guy calls me up and tells me about this 'meeting' I should attend and we shall discuss job opportunities at it. Though I was skeptic in the beginning, the curious cat in me made it a point that I go for the meeting. This was partly also because the 'job opportunities' my caller told me about felt positive.

Better early than late ( Oh how I wish I were always that way ), I reached almost half an hour in advance. It was a huge hall and I wanted to make sure I was in the right place ( When did interviews take place in auditoriums? ). The receptionist could not find any reservations for an interview or a meeting. She did mention about an MLM session, which I hoped was not what I was there for. I called up my caller and asked him if I was in the right place. He apologized for his being late and assured me that he would be there in fifteen minutes. Quarter of an hour passed and came in a marvelous Mercedes and popped out a charming young man. He was full of zeal about what he was doing and invited me for a cup of coffee. We discussed my interests and my responsibilities over a cappuccino. He introduced me to his 'mentor'. Now I was sure what I was in for. I thought I'd sit back and just enjoy the show. (Trying to be polite for a cappuccino)

And the show began: Introductory music for each speaker, loud cheers from 'new recruits', 'You can' promises and what not. For certain reasons I don't wish to disclose the name of the MLM scheme or the person who invited me. But I should tell you; I did start liking the idea of observing the whole scenario. The only thing I felt bad about (other than the obvious presence of so many people with dreams and aspirations) was the fact that I was going to turn down the offer in the end. The guy who invited me ( or the person who thought I was a proscpective recruit) seemed to be an innocent fellow whom I wished he knew more about the math behind MLM schemes. He was a new recruit who just quit his current job and got fully involved into this hardly a few weeks back. I sat through the whole session (Damn that cappuccino!). It was funny how they tried to make the audience 'believe' in them. I played along and the session came to an end.

If you are familiar with how these sessions work, there is a part after the main session when you are made to sit down with a 'leader' who explains to you more in detail and tries to convince you asking questions like, 'can't you see the great potential in it?'. All I gave was a smile. This was because I was in a group where there were other people who were all excited about the idea. I didn't want to break the bad news to them, especially to my new friend who was having millionaire dreams already. (I still wonder why he chose this after owning a Mercedes and a Mont Blanc). But I don't want to judge anybody, so I kept quite and pretended to be the skeptic procrastinator (which I am).

I noticed that the other lady who was with me had responded to the same advertisement and was in a situation not knowing how to avoid this whole thing. She started giving excuses like how she didn't know too many people and how she couldn't afford the product (or the business plan). But these people are trained to read from a script and these questions are common. It doesn't take too much time to get used to this and you will be surprised by the predictability of stupidity ( Yes, I borrowed that line from the movie,'Snatch'). This is where I started feeling like a prophet. I didn't want to pull her away from this, but I knew she was struggling and I could help. So I spoke for the first time and started with a question, 'Why the urgency?'.

He couldn't get my question. I wanted to know why he was desperate about making a quick decision.

'I was under the belief that haste makes waste', I said.

He asks me why would I leave such a wonderful opportunity now and regret later because the whole world will be a part of it in a year. (This company has been declaring that for the past 16 years and I knew about this only an hour back)

So I asked, 'Does that mean that you know this business will saturate once everybody knows about it?'.

He dodges this question and returns with a cheap shot. He says that I am not 'qualified' for this.

'Are you trying to trigger my ego? I wouldn't get in just to prove to you that I am qualified', I responded.

There was silence for a few seconds, but this silence gave the woman the courage she needed. She stood up declaring that she wouldn't join. It was obvious that the two 'leaders' where not seasoned enough to handle pricks like me. I wished the leader a very 'bright' future (out in the streets, ofcourse) and bid farewell to my new friend.

I walked out with a victorious grin. Though I felt bad that my venture for a job today turned out to be this I sure was happy I got something to write about.

My friends know how I too fell for a very seemingly lucrative MLM which seasoned me in to an anti-MLM prophet.

Hopefully, my next post will be about my own story - birth and death of an MLM associate.