Airport Paranoia

My trip to Melbourne deserves a chapter in my imaginary journal. It was a short trip full of surprises. Begining with a random check at the Sydney airport, it was just getting better and better. Did I mention that I got randomly selected in Melbourne airport too? Yes, but this time it was very simple which hardly took them a minute.

I think it is just going to be part of the routine. You know, as kids how we always used to think that being an adult would be so cool with all the previleges? Then we wish upon childhood again. Airport security makes you feel the same, but in a rather unique way.

On my trip back to Sydney, I made it a point that I closely observe what goes on around me. The Melbourne airport had its usual security check and security sign boards put up everywhere. Most of the signs read, 'Airport Security is no joke. All jokes will be taken seriously.' After I was randomly selected for screening, I sat by the officer's desk just so that I get a clear picture of who gets lucky.

The following people turned out to be the other lucky winner who won a free trip to the 'explosives check' department :

1) A lady in her mid 40's. She had a baby in a tram and 2 little kids who were obviously not even mid schoolers.
2) A clueless Indian who went,' Why you want to check me only?'.(I am sure you'd think he deserved it)
3) An old woman in her 60's who could hardly carry her handbag. Maybe the officer got suspicious about the extra heavy handbag. She just turned out to be an extra weak old lady.

That's it. I got bored and walked away. But this observation was made over a period of 15 minutes. Every other healthy and hefty young men walked out with empty hands.

What bugged me most was the sign boards about joking. I know it is not cool to play around with something so serious. But what interests me is the absolute paranoia that floats in the atmosphere. The very gesture that would remotely lead to suspicion can get you in trouble.

I wonder how it is an established fact that a terrorist would be a brown skinned guy who shows 'signs' that he is upto something wicked. Now the question is, don't people get smarter? Do people fall for the same old trick over and over again. It obviously is deception that can make the act of terrorism a success.

Considering the number of suicide bombings and plane hijackings. One could say that the terrorists got through airport security because of the staff were careless. But, imagine a guy who is putting his life at risk to do something so wicked; would he just show it off with signs and jeopardise what he considers is right? Wouldn't he try to blend in with the general public?

Next time I get into a plane, I am gonna watch out for people talkin' about footy! Yes, that's what i'm gonna do! I am gonna get all paranoid and report to the authority. Anybody who looks like an Ausie but can't speak like one gets into the list. If you can spell any word that's got more than 6 alphabets, you join the list too.

Imagine a world full of diverse people, differentiated by color, status, ethnicity, figure and mobile phones; each scared of the other and paranoid about it; each person suspicious of the other; each person trying to safeguard their lives and iPhones from each other ... That's a vision. We won't need airport security. We won't fly. We wont drive. We won't get out of our homes. We won't even get up from that wretched couch. All we need is TV and junk food. Just like now. Silly B******s !