Love Marriage - The Myth.

'Love Marriage' versus 'Arranged Marriage' - the topic college students who, even unintentionally took part in a debate or group discussion would have come across atleast once in their lifetime. An easy topic to discuss, but rarely makes any sense. 

Since this topic has been discussed many a times it is mandatory to look deep into the roots of it and maybe even ponder upon the necessity of this argument. 

It has always been a puzzle for me as the only defence these 'Arranged Marriage' supporters could come up with is the fact that their parents could come for their support or maybe that their parents who had chosen everything for them all along should be let to choose their life partners too. 

And the adversaries, on the other hand, can never think of anything else, but the fact that we need to 'share' things with a person before going for the wedlock. The other argument would be that their parents should start realizing that they are grown ups and they have the right to choose their soulmates.

This argument may continue for hours since we all know these arguments are based on assumptions and are never done with the intention of coming to a decission. Now let us try to break it down into smaller and mmore digestible pieces and try asking some goofy questions too. :p

 

Arranged marriage is out of the discussion. Let us consider that these men and women are just too busy with their schedule that they left all their decisions to be made by their well wishers. We shall appreciate the respect they have for their parents and how they have some how figured it out that no matter how much they try, their parents would never 'understand'!

Now, the tricky opposition party - Love Marriage. It is first mandatory, yes, absolutely mandatory to shake off all the prejudice and accept the fact that the idea of love is more  biological. It is a mammalian drive. And we, are mammals. So it is understood that we need love, no matter what. ( To Hell with all those who think they don't need Love!)

Considering a pair, in love. The idea is to make sure that they are ready for a 'long term'  commitment. This period can vary from anything between a day to a few years and maybe even till the end of their lives. So, this 'trial' period will be extended on the basis of certain factors and when they realize that their partners know too much of their dirty secrets, they decide to marry.

These cuouples share everything from a cup of coffee to a side of their bed. 

Now, I am confused. What the heck is marriage then? Isn't this exactly what two people are expected to do after they are married? If you plan to make it official through marriage, what took you so long? They say love is to be felt and not forced. Agreed! Then why get married just because the society demands it? If marriage is done as an agreement to stay committed, why even bother to get married since a commitment is between the couple and not anybody else ? Alright, maybe marriage is done to show legality of the relationship. Then isn't marriage, here, reduced to a 'license' to have sex? Now whatever happened to the divinity of marriage? 

Now we move on to the love pair who 'keep it' to themselves. They make sure they don't 'cross' the forbidden line, but enjoy the beauty of the relationship. How could you not want to cross the line when you are still a mammal inside? If the thought never struck you so far, maybe you are just not 'into' the opposite sex!  Inability to  cross the line causes frustration, which inturn results in something that rhymes with it! 

Maybe I am just not 'getting' it. How could there even be 'love' before marriage when that is what marriage is all about? This is striclty not 'for' arranged marriage. The question is, if you declare to be in love, why not get married? Who demands you to start a 'family' as soon as you get married? If marriage would make things difficult by giving you a 'responsibility' or a 'commitment', then isn't that what 'love' too is all about. Is it that staying 'in love' before marriage always gives you a 'second chance'?  If so, then whatever happened to 'commitment'?

If 'breaking up' is so easy, why is 'divorce' so difficult? Is it that there are too many legal procedures behind it? Why not go for a divorce with 'mutual consent' ? Thinking about it, it just does not make sense. A person who 'plays around' will not change just because he or she got married. 

Isn't the biggest defence these 'lovers' take is being all 'grown up'? I can see, because when I was a kid and I was puzzled of why the bull kept jumping upon the cow, I knew I'd know why when I grow up. Now don't tell me 'this' is what grown-ups do!

Why not act like grown ups and 'declare' that you are in a relationship? Why not make it official? And if marriage is just a formality, why bother doing it? If not, why not try giving it the importance that it deserves?

Now, the statement that would be a part of the rebuttal is,' Due to pressure from the peers it is hard to declare or make a big decission.' One of the biggest decisions of life is 'choosing' a life partner and one of the biggest events is 'marriage'. If the former is not taken seriously the latter becomes obsolete. And by 'taking seriously', 'trial and error' is not the right way. If you could commit yourself, stay committed. If not, marriage is definitely not the thing for you.

Now I leave it to you. What's your take on this?